


Roses are Red

by JeckParadox



Category: RWBY, Red vs. Blue
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Fusion, Gen, RWBY universe, Superpowers, aged-down characters, cool weapons
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-07
Updated: 2016-06-09
Packaged: 2018-07-12 19:26:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7119391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JeckParadox/pseuds/JeckParadox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There is a legend within the walls of Beacon about the worst two teams to ever walk its halls. Teams made up of incompetent Hunters, led by terrible leaders, two teams, who if they were not doomed to fail by their own inability, were doomed because of their hatred for the other. Used as an example of everything a student of Beacon should strive not to be.<br/>Those two legendary teams haven't got anything on these guys.<br/>Three teams worth of new students who really shouldn't be here, a secret revolutionary in Atlas' tech department, and a complicated and messy school year made even more so.</p><p>A fusion of Red vs Blue and RWBY. Taking place in Remnant, the cast of Red vs Blue are reimagined as Hunters-in-training, attending their first year at Beacon at the same time as RWBY, JNPR, and the rest.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Do you ever wonder why we're here?"

"It's one of life's great mysteries, isn't it? Why are we here? I mean, are we the product of some cosmic coincidence or, is there really a God... watching everything? You know, with a plan for us and stuff. I don't know man, but it keeps me up at night."

"What? I mean why are we up here on this cliff, waiting for the headmaster, overlooking a massive forest full of deadly monsters."

"Oh. Uh... yeah."

"What was all that stuff about God?"

"Nothing."

"...Do you want to talk about it-"

"For years" Ozpin began suddenly, spooking the two out of their conversation "you have trained to become warriors, and today, your abilities will be evaluated in the Emerald Forest."

Goodwitch nodded, and began speaking to the gathered students as well. "Now, I'm sure many of you have heard rumors about the assignment of teams. Well, allow us to put an end to your confusion. Each of you will be given teammates." She paused for dramatic effect, "Today."

Ozpin took over once again. "These teammates will be with you for the rest of your time here at Beacon. So it is in your best interest to be paired with someone with whom you can work well. That being said, the first person you make eye contact with after landing will be your partner for the next four years. After you've partnered up, make your way to the northern end of the forest. You will meet opposition along the way. Do not hesitate to destroy everything in your path or you _will_ die."

"Shit." Simmons whispered under his breath. "Eye contact? That's not a good criteria to base a four year long career-building partnership on! What if we meet eyes with someone who's completely irresponsible and unsuited to our fighting style-"

Grif burped. "Whoo. Glad I got that out of my system before the test."

"Oh god." Simmons finished, covering his face.

"You will be monitored and graded through the duration of your initiation, but our instructors will not intervene. You will find an abandoned temple at the end of the path containing several relics. Each pair must choose one and return to the top of the cliff. You will guard that item, as well as your standing, and grade you appropriately. Are there any questions?"

A blond boy nearby Ozpin began asking questions, but both hunters-in-training more or less ignored him. "Bro!" The huntress-in-training on the opposite side of Simmons waved over to him. "Wait for me in the forest! We _need_ to be partners!"

"Um, how about, no thanks."

"AW! Come on. Grifs need to stick together!"

"Just try not to die, okay?"

Further down the line a student covered from head to toe in bright red pulled out his shotgun. Loading several canisters of dust into it, he grinned. 

A young man wearing a pink scarf began twirling a bola around his finger, smiling as he waited for the launching to begin. 

Elsewhere in the line, a young man in a blue and gold helmet looked around, confused. He wanted to go to the bathroom.

"Whoosh" the kid said, drawing the laser sword and then making it retract again. "Whoosh!" He said again, more forceful this time. He shifted back and forth on the platform. This was it. Time to impress the ladies. Chicks digged Hunters. It was a fact of life.

A young man in gunmetal gray held his weapons close as he nervously looked out over the forest. 

And finally, a group of four, wearing top-of-the line armor and brandishing an assortment of enhanced weapons waited for the launch. "Remember." The leader, a woman in pitch-black armor looked to the others. "We need to find each other immediately." She narrowed her eyes. "That goes double for you Church."

"Hey! Give me a little credit here, Tex. I know how important this is."

"Just focus on finding Maine." She said. "Maine, focus on finding Church first. We'll wait for you by the artifacts."

The massive man merely grunted in response. 

"Carolina-"

"I know." She cut off the older girl before she could get a word in edgewise. "I'll find you first."

* * *

 

Simmons saw the girl next to him disappear into the distance, giggling loudly as she flew, and gulped. "Alright, this will be fine! It's just like training. I got an A on the quiz on our book on Landing Strategies! This will be easy. I just need to remember everything I read!"

"Dude. Give it a rest already."

"Don't distract me! I'll-" he didn't get to finish, because as the spring beneath his platform went off he was launched far into the air, spiralling out of control, his words blending together into a simple scream. He flailed in the air, unable to focus on what he should do. 

"Welp. That was fun." The chubby student stretched once, and reached behind him, pulling out his rather large weapon. Unfurling it, he sat down on the small motorcycle, revving its engine. The spring under his platform went off, and man and bike were launched through the air. Narrowing his eyes, he twisted both handles, igniting and firing an explosion Dust cartridge and blasting him forward. 

As he passed Simmons, the panicking student got enough of his logic back that he reached out and grabbed onto the bike, rather than allow himself to splatter on the forest floor. 

The motorcycle and its rider and hanger-on flung through the branches. Grif tried to go in at an angle, keeping it so that the large metal wheels would take most of the direct impacts. Both were jostled as they fell, but more or less survived.

"I'm... I'm alive!" Simmons cried, patting himself over. "Oh thank god I'm alive... in a forest full of Grimm."

"Yep. Congrats man."

"No thanks to you!" Simmons growled. "You distracted me right before we launched! If you had just shut up, I wouldn't have been in trouble at all!"

"Sure, whatever you say asshole." Grif said, waving him off. He turned his motorcycle towards the inside of the forest and began making his way forward, leaving Simmons in the dust. 

"Wait! Don't leave me behind!" The marroon-wearing student ran after him, jumping onto the motorcycle once he came close enough. 

"Hey! Don't just jump on. This thing is at its weight limit already!"

"We're partners now, you heard the headmaster! You can't just leave me to get eaten."

"Fine, fine." The motorcycle slowly made its way through the forest. Occasionally a scream would signal another student flying overhead. In the distance, roars and gunfire went off.

"Um... can you make this thing go any faster?"

"I could, but I don't see any reason why."

"We have to find an artifact and make it back to Beacon."

"Yeah, eventually. The headmaster never really left a time limit. As far as I'm concerned, the whole thing is a very loose recommendation. We'll get there when we get there."

"How can you be so lazy!"

"It's not lazy. It's just smart. Everyone else may feel like rushing into the jaws of death, but I'm going to go at a nice, safe, quiet pace."

"So... we're going slow to avoid Grimm?"

"Sure. Why not." Grif shrugged, his vehicle/weapons chugging along. 

* * *

 "Oh my God, I'm an eagle!" Caboose spread his arms wide as he flew through the air. "Wait." He slammed into a tree, shattering it in the impact, before falling down to the ground and rolling several feet. Dusting himself off and getting up, he jumped, swinging his arms. "Nevermind."

As he made his way through the forest, he heard the nearby sound of someone shouting. 

"Maine!" 

"Polo." He answered, quietly, as he changed direction and headed for the voice. 

"Maine! Where the hell are you, you lug!"

"Polo."

"Huh-" Church turned around, and blinked as he faced into the golden visor attached to the entirely wrong helmet. "Oh fuck."

"Hello."

"No! Just, fucking no." He pushed past Caboose. "Maine! Maine get over here!"

"I'm not Maine, silly. My name is Caboose."

"You be quiet. And stop following me. I already have a partner."

"Wait. We're partners?!"

"No!"

"We are going to be best friends." The larger man grabbed Church, and as the smaller student began struggling and cursing, Caboose simply held tighter. "Don't worry, best friend," he said, determined. "We are going to win this game."

"Shit shit shit shit!" Church reached into his pack, drawing a rectangle that unfolded into a battle ax. Catching it in the branch of a nearby tree, he wrenched himself from Caboose' grip. "No! That's it, buddy. Take one more step," he got into a battle stance, holding the ax threateningly above his head "and I'll cut your idiot head off."

"..." 

"Do you understand, idiot? Turn around, and walk away."

Caboose turned around, and around, until he was facing Church again. "I don't think I can do this. If I can't take a step, how do I walk away?"

"Oh god."

* * *

 

"Let's see." Tucker said, sitting in the tree and scouting the area with his binoculars. Watching the skies and the ground ahead of him. "Nope."  He said, as a man passed overhead screaming. Turning slightly, his binocular fell upon a blonde girl punching her way through the sky, massive bursts of fire coming from golden gauntlets. "Whoah-ho! Yeah!" Jumping off the branch, he landed in a spin and took off running after her. "Come on, come on, come on!" He chanted to himself, trying to aim for the spot where she would land. 

He heard the impact and swore, and when the sudden sound of gunfire mixed with the roaring of Grimm he found himself almost upon the clearing, when he was stopped by a Beowulf. 

"No! I could become partners with the hottest girl in this year, you are not getting in my way!" Pulling out a metal handle, he made a jabbing motion, a blade of solid light rushing out and impaling the Grimm. He swiped with the blade, making it widen and bisect the monster, before pushing forward. He was almost into the clearing as he saw Yang walking away with Blake. "Aw man. She hooked up with another girl... bow chicka wow wow." Sighing, he pulled the binoculars out and went back to his searching. 

He was surprised when someone grabbed his shoulder from behind. "Hey! Whoah-" he stopped when he saw the grinning girl wearing bright yellow.

"Hey! Partners!" She said. 

"Yeah. Wait, what?" Blinking, he shrugged and stuck his hand out for her to shake, grinning sleazily. "I'll be your partner anytime, baby."

"Sweet. Were you the one who cut open that wolf thing earlier?"

"Yeah." He pulled out the laser sword once more to show her. "You like?"

"Hell yeah, that was bad ass." She shrugged. "All I got are these." Drawing twin pistols, she flicked her wrist, both of the barrels coming off of the handle and trigger, flying off on the end of a cable. With another flick the barrels of the pistols retracted back into position. 

"Those're cool." Tucker said. "So, we'll be on the same team from now on? My name's Lavender Tucker."

"I'm Kaikaina. But everyone just calls me Sister."

* * *

 "I can't believe you!" Texas growled, shark teeth becoming more prevalent by the second as she began to lose herself in anger. 

Maine shrugged, completely passive to it. 

"You had one thing to do! One thing! Meet with Church, and get back here with him as your partner. And now? What the hell were you thinking."

"Hey, take it easy on the guy. It's not his fault, Ozpin's the one who made the rule about partnering with the first person you make eye contact with-"

"You don't get to talk." Carolina said harshly. "This has nothing to do with you."

"N-Nothing to do with me?" He asked, his tone of voice somewhere between furious, outright surprised, and amused. "I'm sorry, but it has everything to do with me! I spent years working my way up through Signal, paid for my weapons' materials, fought in initiation, I have earned my spot at this school. And this guy here, whether you like it or not, is my partner for the next four years. Is that stupid? Yes. Is it something that I, personally, can change? No. Is it something you can change? Also no."

Texas smiled, pointed and serrated teeth creating a perfect zig-zag. "We could kill him. Then Maine'd be free."

"No." Carolina said sharply. "That would go against everything we came here to do."

"Wait... kill me?!" He asked, fear tinging his voice. "What the hell? We're Hunters in training!" Maine put a hand protectively on his shoulder and growled at the two women. "See! He agrees with me."

"...The director isn't going to like this." Tex threatened.

"Well, we can't exactly change it."

"So... my name is David. David Washington. Uh... what's the big guy's name again?"

* * *

 

"Ah... today is a _good day for you to die_." He fired his shotgun, blasting apart the head of another Grimm. He simply fired and fired, the same satisfied grin plastered on his face. 

He had landed right in the middle of a group of them, and now they had him backed into a cliff wall. He was cornered. And that was why Donut saved him.

The bola wrapped itself around a Grimm's neck, and with a sharp pull Donut had landed, breaking the neck of the Ursa and walking proudly over to the cornered shotgunner. The bola transformed in his hands, the balls turning into sharpened cups, as he swung them around, making grooves in the ground and collecting rock in the cups. Spinning in place, he launched the newly-created projectiles, distracting two Grimm as Sarge finished them off. 

"We make a pretty okay team." He said, smiling. "What's your name son?"

"Franklin Delano Donut." he said proudly. "And we did well didn't we?"

"You're pretty handy with them there bolas."

"Well, if there's one thing I know how to do, its how to be handy with balls."

"Um." 


	2. Chapter 2

"The last pair has come together. Lie Ren and Nora Valkyrie. Poor boy. I can't imagine the two of them getting along." Goodwitch said. 

Ozpin grunted in reply, watching over the forest. 

"Although he's luckier than others, I suppose." She began flipping through different recordings, as a number of different pairs of seventeen year olds were shown simultaneously. "Pyrhha Nikos, we had such high hopes for her, is paired up with this Jaune fellow. He has excellent transcripts, but he's obviously not ready for this level of conflict. And he's just the tip of the iceberg." She expanded the image of the pair of Church and Caboose. "Leonard Church arrived in a group of four transfers from a high-ranked combat school from Atlas. The four of them have been dead-set on staying together. Now, it goes against the spirit of the team-building strategy we have, but just imagine how effective they would be. And now, the poor young man's been stuck with..." she tapped a button, and the poor-quality sound delivered by their hidden cameras released a series of expletives, mixed in with nonsensical singing, "well, stuck with _that_."

"Michael Jade Caboose is a strange one. Flunked nearly every written test, was expelled from two combat schools,  but in the initiation, which you know tests combat ability over all else, the boy got a perfect score." Ozpin said, amused. "While we don't have exact records regarding Church in particular's physical score in initiation, I imagine, just from looking at him struggling like this, that he's far more adept on the information side of things than the fighting. Brawn and brains."

"I suppose." Goodwitch said, nodding. "And then there are these two." She flipped the video to Simmons and Grif, obviously arguing even without sound with the video, still on top of Grif's vehicle. "Neither of them have the right physique for Hunters. Or the right attitude. No brains or brawn. Both barely managed to pass their combat schools, and both only got in with the lowest score we accept regarding initiation. None of their teachers had anything good to say about either of them. Now, I don't make it a rule to write off students prematurely... but I don't believe they should be in our school."

Ozpin made a noncommittal noise, watching Ruby and Weiss on his own Scroll. 

"Professor Ozpin?"

"Hm?"

"Grif and Simmons. I don't think they're ready for Beacon."

"Well... that is the point of the Emerald Forest's test, isn't it?" He said, smiling. "If they make it through, that means we have something to work with, doesn't it?"

* * *

"Oh thank God." Church gasped, entering the clearing. 

"Damn it." Tex growled, grabbing him by his white chestplate. "What the hell Church!"

"The idiot snuck up on me and wouldn't leave!" Church defended himself.

"Hello." Caboose said, waving to the four who were gathered by the artifacts. 

"Wait, wait." Carolina began, separating Church from Tex. "This could work out. Washington can go with this idiot, and Church can go with _our_ idiot."

Maine growled, insulted.

"That's not how it works!" Washington protested. "Look, I'm sorry that you guys had to split up because of this, but it's the rules, right? Besides, who knows whether me and Maine would be assigned to be part of your team anyway. Maybe you'll get uh, Church, and..."

"Caboose!" Caboose supplied.

"Caboose. Wait, seriously?"

Texas frowned, looking at the four boys. "Why are you being so complicated about this! Look. Wash, you're going to go with Caboose here, and never talk to us again. Church, you're going to get your ass over here, and stick to us, or the director will kick all our asses." Reaching over, she looked at the 'artifacts', chess pieces. Seeing the glint of a black rook, she grabbed it. Seeing its counterpart, she tossed it over to Maine. "Come on."

Maine sighed, placing the wooden figurine in a pocket and walking over to the two girls. 

"Come on Maine!" Washington protested. "We're partners, we should do this together, or Ozpin might have us expelled."

"Dude, stop worrying about it. Just... take Caboose, and go on your way. This is a really complicated bullshit situation, which is only irritated further due to the fact that Tex is a HUGE BITCH." Church yelled. The young woman in question simply raised her arm abover her head, middle finger proudly displayed. 

Caboose and Washington stood there, watching the four leave, when Wash made an annoyed noise in the back of his throat. "Just... Just grab one of the chess pieces. Come on, let's follow them."

"I'm coming Church!" Caboose said happily, picking up a white queen piece and putting it in his own pocket.

"Church is... he probably doesn't want to come back."

"That's okay, because we're going to him."

"...Sure, Caboose."

* * *

 

"Haha yeah." Tucker said, reveling in simply talking to a girl. Already, his progress in being a Hunter was coming to fruition! Hot, tough, and lewd as hell. Seriously, some of the stuff that came out of her mouth was enough to make _him_ blush.

"So, is this the abandoned temple or whatever?"

"Probably."

"What are artifacts? Is that like a rock?"

"No, no, it's like, an ancient thing."

"Like a rock?" Sister asked again. 

"I don't know!" There were a series of pedestals, many empty, a few with chess pieces on them. "Huh... do you think its like these?"

"Sure." Sister grabbed the closest one, a white queen. "Whoo hoo! Mission complete!" She cheered. "Let's get the hell out of this forest."

"I uh, don't think that'll be so easy..." Tucker began backing up, drawing his laser sword as the massive Ursa approached them. Behind it were a half-dozen more, smaller, but also deadly in their own right. 

"Shit. Do you want to fight it?"

"Well, can we run from it?"

"Can we?"

Looking behind him, at the foot prints, paw prints, fallen trees, and explosion marks, he had a feeling that direction would only lead to more of them. "Technically, but I don't think its a good idea."

"Then lets do that!" Sister grabbed him suddenly, holding him against her, and pulling out her gun, aiming it towards the stone pillar in the distance. "Sorry about this. But don't worry, you'll only throw up the first few times, you'll totally get used to it. If I throw up, it's for a completely different reason."

"Yeah okay. Wait, what?!" Tucker asked, before the cable that was attached to the projectile began winding itself, ripping the two of them from the ground and reeling them at high speed toward the stone pillar. "Shit!" Tucker said, making his laser-sword extend the rest of the distance and slice apart the column before they were splattered across it. 

"Oh! Thanks for that, I knew I forgot something." The two hit the ground rolling, before untangling themselves and beginning their flight again. 

"I'd appreciate a little warning next time!"

"Sorry, it's just usually I'm doing that with my brother. He weighs a lot more than you, and I totally misjudged how fast we'd be going."

"Your brother?"

"Yep! It's his first day here too. I was going to be on his team but because DEX IS A HUGE ASSHOLE," she shouted into the distance, "he totally abandoned me."

"Well, at least you've got me now, right?" Tucker said, grinning. Now that the terror was gone, the adrenaline was making him giddy. 

"Yeah! We're going to be able to move so much faster! This is going to be great."

The two walked forward, and saw what was possibly the most badass thing they had seen in their lives. 

A massive deathstalker, a Nevermore larger than their books said was possible, and eight Hunters and Huntresses in training. 

"We need to help them!" Sister cried.

"Oh yeah! Its those two hot ones!" Tucker cried, pointing towards the blonde and her brunette partner, "Bow chicka wow wow."

"Yeah, you're right!" Sister agreed. "Come on!" The deathstalker was standing at the edge of the great drop, battling four other Hunters. The girl with the hammer dealt a massive blow against it, before launching herself backwards, and knocking the brunette off the cliff. 

"Catch her-" Tucker began, and Sister aimed her grappling hook, but Blake had already began twisting upward, slicing the Nevermore a few times on her way up. She joined three other Huntresses, including the blonde, at the top of a tower, firing at the Nevermore. "Nevermind!" The Nevermore glided forward, ignoring the huntresses' gunfire, and blasted through the stone. "Nevermind the nevermind! Catch them!"

"You take the scorpion!" Sister yelled, before throwing herself off the cliff as well. She fired both grappling hooks, embedding it in two pillars, swinging herself over to where the Huntresses were falling.

"Got it!" Tucker's laser sword returned to his preferred battle form, two razor-sharp prongs and ran towards the Deathstalker. 

Sister flung herself into the falling rubble, reaching out her hand and calling "Grab on!" All four Huntresses however were steadily making their way up, jumping from boulder to boulder, and each coming to a landing on a more stable piece of the ruins. Sighing in irritation at being ignored, she pulled herself up. "Hi!" She greeted. 

"Uh, hey." Yang replied, smiling. "Alright, we've got five against one now. That's a whole 20% more soldiers than before."

"None of this was working before anyway." Weiss said, irritated. 

"What can you do?" Ruby asked, looking hopefully at the newcomer. 

"I got grappling hooks." She said proudly. "Oh, and I'm like, _really_ flexible."

"I don't see how that would help right now." Ruby said quietly. "But, uh, that's good." She observed the Nevermore, who was circling Yang, getting peppered by her shotgun gauntlets' fire for its trouble. "I think I have a plan. Cover me!" She ordered Weiss and Sister. 

On the giant scorpion demon side of things, the Deathstalker was repeatedly slamming its tail into the ground in front of it, destroying the supports for the bridge the four ground-bound Hunters were stuck on. Tucker jumped up, stabbing his light sword into the creature's tail, and making it writhe in response, turning around and around in an attempt to locate him. 

"We gotta move!" Lie Ren cried, running forwards toward the distracted Deathstalker. 

"Whoah there boy, or girl, do Grimms even have-" Tucker was silenced as the scorpion Grimm slammed its tail to the ground, with Tucker and his sword underneath it. The four Hunters and Huntresses took advantage of the Scorpion's distraction and began hacking at its legs, as Lie Ren jumped up onto the creature, going with his usual strategy and aiming for the eyes. The scorpion brought down its tail, but the point missed hitting Pyrhha due to the wound Tucker had dealt. 

"The tail!" Jaune shouted, pointing up at it. 

"Got it!" Nora shouted, firing herself into the air with the blast from her warhammer, using the momentum to hit the tail with a massive blow, knocking away the lethal yellow tip. From its wound black smoke began to emit from the tail. 

Pyrhha, taking advantage of its pain, turned to Jaune and shouted "Give me a boost!"

He drew his shield, and she jumped onto it, leaping off the impromptu platform the same moment Jaune pushed forward with it. She fired herself into the air, and threw her spear sword forward, impaling the same eye wound Ren made earlier. Using her momentum, and a little bit of Polarity, she hammered her spear through the skull of the Grimm, landing on top of the blade with her shield under her feet. The Grimm shuddered and then died, evaporating. 

Walking over to the fallen cyan-wearing warrior, Lie pulled him up. "Thanks!" Nora called. 

Yang managed to goad the Nevermore into coming close, and took the opportunity to fire her gauntlet rounds directly into the throat of the massive bird. Jumping away from the Nevermore, she let it crash into a wall. She was passed by quickly by a speeding Sister and Weiss, pulled by the recoiling of Sister's grapple and pushed by Weiss' speed glyphs. Sister rolled into a ball, crashing into the stomach of the Nevermore at high velocity, while Weiss impaled the creature's wing, freezing it and holding it to the cliffside.  

Blake and Yang used the thread of Blake's weapon to create a giant slingshot, with Ruby as the ammo. Pulled back by a gravity glyph courtesy of Weiss, Ruby smiled, aiming for the bruise in the underbelly made by Sister. 

Firing herself, she activated her own speed semblance, turning into a blood-red drill, piercing the bird. Sister fired her grapples into the ground before her, and tossed both guns, cables still extending, over and around the head of the Grimm. Grabbing them as they fell back down, she twisted it, tightening the steel coils around the neck of the Nevermore. Ruby ran up the underbelly of the writhing giant bird, getting to its back. Stabbing it with the scythe, she began to pull it upward, once more assisted by glyphs. The bird's head was yanked by the cables of Sister's weapon, and was sliced clean off in a moment. 

The giant Grimm's body fell downwards into the misty abyss. 

"Haha wow. I thought we were going to die." Sister said, giddy. 

"Yeah, that plan was absolutely insane!" Weiss said. But her voice didn't have its usual bite, and the white-haired girl grabbed her partner and pulled her close.

"Well, it worked, didn't it?"

"Yeah, I suppose it did."

"That was great!" Yang shouted, running over to them. 

Sister walked over to the edge, looking down at the other five Hunters on the cliff. "Huh, I think my partner might be dead." She said casually. 

* * *

 

Donut and Sarge approached the temple area. "Hm... there's been a battle here. Only a matter of minutes ago."

"Well, it's lucky we missed it, huh?"

"Lucky! It's a damn shame. Every Grimm that dies is an opportunity lost to kill a Grimm myself!"

"I mean, they'll be killed either way, right?"

"I suppose. But it's just so much more satisfying to do it yourself, you know?"

"Oh, I get that. But in my opinion the only thing better than satisfying yourself, is satisfying a whole group of people!"

"Um... yeah." He walked over, grabbing a white bishop. "Come on. Mission complete. Time to report back to base."

"Aw yeah. Donut and Sarge. Franklin and... what is your name, by the way?"

"You know what my father told me? He told me to dress for the job you want, son. Well, I took that to a whole other level. Got my name legally changed to Sarge."

"But what if you're promoted past sergeant?"

"Son, baby steps. Baby steps."

"So, will you change your name to, like, Colonel? Or Corporal? Or General!"

"I don't know. The paperwork alone in just changing Sage to Sarge was enormous."

"Sage, huh? Isn't that like, a green? You're dressed in red-"

"Sage Bloodgulch, friend. But really. Call me Sarge. All that color name mumbo-jumbo was something I never stood well with."

"It's an expression of creativity!"

"Yeah? Then where does 'Franklin' come from, eh?"

"Well, I mean, you hear donuts, and what do you think of?"

"Coffee."

"That's right, frosting and sprinkles!" Donut said, cheerful.

"So, what, pink?"

"When was the last time you saw pink sprinkles?"

"I don't know. It's just you're wearing a pink scarf an' all."

"Red."

"Nah, that's pink."

"It's lightish red."

"That's called pink."

"Whatever. It's lightish red, and that's all there is to say about it. Now come on. We got the artifact, we should head back to Beacon. Ooh, I just can't wait to start decorating our room! We could go to the store and pick out some drapes, I already have a color scheme planned-"

"Um..."

* * *

 

The sun was significantly lower in the sky when they reached the temple. "All right, we're here."

"Fucking finally." Simmons grumped. Climbing off the bike, he walked over to the pedestals. "Wh-We're the last ones here!"

"How can you tell?" Grif asked, not that concerned. 

"There's only one artifact left!"

"That looks like a chess piece."

"Well, that's what the artifacts were! Look, there are twenty-four pillars here. Two copies of each of the six chess pieces of each color. And there were forty-eight of us on the cliff! Separate that into partners, and that's one artifact per two students! We're the last people to reach here because there's only one left!"

Grif got up, grabbing it, and then sitting down on the grass. "Welp, mission completed. I think we deserve a victory nap."

"A nap?! We're already going to be last!"

"Then it doesn't matter if we take even longer. We can't be _more_ last place."

"But- bu- b-" Simmons sighed, sitting down next to him and focusing on his breathing. "Don't you care at all?! We could get kicked out!"

"Ozpin never set a time limit." Grif said, smiling. "Look, Simmons. If we're going to have a working partner relationship, you'll need to understand something."

"And what's that?"

"If you can complete a mission with a certain amount of effort, and you do more than that amount of effort, you're by definition trying too hard."

"Wha- NO! That's not being a try-hard, that's doing the best you can do!"

"Meh, this isn't worth my best."

"This was one of the largest tests we're ever going to have! We might miss out on having our other two partners assigned!"

"Nah, you said we have exactly the right amount of people. If they disqualify us, they'll have to do the same to two more people."

"Ugh! I'm heading back!" Simmons turned toward the forest, before stopping when he caught sight of the many glowing red eyes in the darkness of the woods. "Uh... Grif?"

"Yeah?"

"There's like, a hundred Grimm back there..."

* * *

 Glynda frowned down at the display of the two boys. "How did this boy even pass through the initiation! He got the lowest possible passing grade, I understand, but with progress like this, he hasn't even shown _that_ level of ability!"

Ozpin looked bored as well. "I believe it is a result of the boy's semblance."

She looked up, raising an eyebrow. "No semblance, no matter how powerful, can make up for having zero fighting ability and an utter lack of any kind of drive."

"Well, you'll see." Ozpin said. "Semblances are a reflection of the soul. The personality. The highest manifestation of Aura." 

"And?"

"What would the pinnacle of power be for someone who's greatest desire is to just put off everything for as long as possible?"

* * *

 

"Ugh." Grif got up, picking up his bike and morphing it into a minigun. The wheels opened up to reveal rolls of ammunition, the exhaust pipes turned around and formed a circle, slowly beginning to spin as he revved the engine. "Simmons. Grab hold of me."

"Why?"

"Just do it. You want to live right?"

"Obviously!"

"Then stop complaining. And don't let go, no matter how hard you're pulled."

"What?!"

* * *

 

"I don't know." Glynda said, shrugging. "What is it?"

* * *

The Grimm burst from the woods, roaring and growling, eyes flaring brightly and bone-white claws aimed for them. He revved both handles, and the gun began firing. He cut a swath through the Grimm with his gunfire. Dropping the minigun, it transformed back into a bike, and he got onto it in the same motion. Grif pulled out a canister of red Dust crystals, and slid it into his bike. Powering forward on the bike, he pulled a lever on the handle, and soon explosions began erupting behind the bike, sending it careening faster and faster toward the forest.

"What are you doing w e ' l l    c  r  a   s     h "

Grif glowed orange as everything around him slowed. His bike, rather than rushing forward uncontrollably, slowed down to a nice, comfortable pace. The air thickened around him, as his own momentum pushed against the air with such force that the air pushed back.

He drove around a tree, and then another. Kicking off the ground he pushed the bike into the air a bit, to clear a fallen branch. In slow-motion ripples spread from where he had touched the dirt, before clumps of dirt erupted lazily from the ground and floated off.

The bike gave a long shudder as another of the fire dust crystals activated. The bike was punched forward a bit faster, but its pace was still easily controlled. As they passed by a Grimm, who, inch by inch, got closer to the ground over the course of a few seconds, Grif reached out and punched it.

The impact took a few of Grif's seconds to take effect, but soon a ripple passed over the bone-mask of the Grimm, before cracks began appearing, and the Grimm's course changed, following the direction of Grif's punch rather than where it meant to fall. 

He navigated the bike past the worst of the woods, and hit the button to eject the Dust canister. Making the orange glow of his aura disappear, time returned to its normal rate. He let out a hard gasp as the lazy speed of his bike seemingly jumped, and he winced as the wind became cutting, rather than like passing through cream. Simmons had never stopped screaming. 

"What the fuck was that!" Simmons shouted, now that the explosions have died off and the bike was moving at a more appropriate speed.

"Rocket-propelled motorcycle." Grif said proudly, patting his weapon. 

* * *

 

The team-naming ceremony had been postponed two hours by Grif and Simmons, but in the end their misadventure was forgotten by the group in the excitement of wondering which sets of partners would become teams.

"Jaune Arc, Lie Ren, Pyrhha Nikos, Nora Valkyrie. The four of you retrieved the white rook pieces. From this day forward you will work together as Team [JNPR] Juniper. Led by Jaune Arc."

"Huh? Led by-"

"Congratulations young man."

Pyrhha gave him a friendly punch in the arm, which knocked the poor boy over. 

"Next, we have Blake Belladonna, Ruby Rose, Weiss Schnee, and Yang Xiao Long. The four of you retrieved the white knight pieces. From this day forward you will work together as Team [RWBY] Ruby. Led by Ruby Rose."

"I'm so proud of you!" Yang shouted as she hugged her teammate. 

"Next will be Sarge Bloodgulch, Franklin Donut, Richard Simmons, Dexter Grif. The four of you retrieved the white bishop pieces. From this day forward you will work together as Team [RDDS] Reds. Led by Sarge Bloodgulch."

"Congrats Sarge!" Donut said, patting his leader on the back. 

"I'll do my best to be the best subordinate possible!" Simmons promised. 

"Meh." Grif intoned. 

"We have now Kaikaina Grif, Lavender Tucker, Michael Jade Caboose, and Leonard Church." Ozpin said.

"WHAT?!" Church screamed from the audience, standing with Tex, Carolina, and Maine. "No!"

"I... I thought that-" Washington began.

"I hope you were aware that the entire ordeal was of course filmed. How else would we gauge your progress and determine who has the best leadership qualities?" Ozpin asked, amused. "You can't simply _trade partners_. We'd never hear the end of it."

"So... I'm not part of this team?" Washington asked. 

"No son, you're Maine's partner. Just as Church is Caboose's partner."

"NOOOOO" Church wailed.

"For the next four years." Ozpin added, enjoying the drama. 

" _ **NOOOOO!**_ " Church screeched. 

"The Team which chose the white queen piece, [MLLK] Milk, is, by the way, led by Leonard Church."

"DAMN IT."

"Best friend!" Caboose greeted, scooping up Church once more. "We are together forever! I told you we would win this game!"

"That's bullshit!" Tex yelled from the audience, marching up the stadium, followed by Carolina and Maine.

" **Students**!" Glynda hissed. "You three will wait your turns to be called. This is a disgraceful act of disregard for this ceremony."

"It's fine, Glynda. They have a right to be mad, we've surprised them after all. But don't worry, you three will remain together. I'm sorry to everyone, but I'll be going a bit out of order. To those four who chose the black rook piece; Tex Betta, Carolina Church, Maine Gunmetal, and David Washington, you are Team [BCGD] Background. Led by David Washinton."

"Shit." Carolina said simply. 

"Wait, leader?" Washington asked, surprised. 

"Damn it!" Tex swore.

Maine simply made a pleased sound in the back of his throat.

 "It looks like things are shaping up to be an interesting year."


	3. Chapter 3

"So... what you're telling me, is that because of your incompetence-"

"Ozpin's rules were-"

"Because of your incompetence!" The Director said again, "Because of your incompetence, not only did you get a completely unrelated student deeply involved, but you've managed to lose the Alpha."

"He's still in Beacon." Carolina offered. "If anything, he'll be hiding better than ever."

"Hunters operate in _teams_." The Director growled. "He's the reason you're even in Beacon! He's the reason any of this was necessary at all." He pulled up his Scroll and looked through the information they had gathered on their new leader. "And you're not even in charge of your team any more."

"I think we'll be able to convince Washington to hand over control fairly easily."

"No. No you won't. You four already made a scene. I heard about it on the damn street! I sent you to Beacon because this is the only safe place _to hide_. If you guys make yourselves obvious and are constantly troubling the staff, you're going to stick out like sore thumbs!" He sighed, pulling off his glasses and rubbing his eyes. "Carolina, new orders: The three of you will continue hiding in plain sight... I'm going to activate protocol Epsilon. The machine will repress all memories regarding our operation, his past, or your pasts. From this point on... he's your annoying younger brother. And that's it."

"Yes sir."

"Continue protecting the machine from the shadows, but keep a low profile. You're just Huntresses and Hunters in training, who decided that Beacon would be a better learning environment than Atlas. Understand?"

"Yes sir."

"Good." He said. "Explain the situation to Gunmetal and Betta."

"Yes sir." The Director turned his back on her, tapping words into his Scroll, before he realized that Carolina hadn't moved. 

"Is there... something else, Carolina?"

"Sir... David Washington."

"What about him?"

"What do we tell him?"

The Director sneered. "I leave that up to your discretion. Do not reveal anything classified, or the Alpha's position. But you might as well tell him that you four were sent to Beacon to stay away from the eyes of Atlas."

"Yes sir."

* * *

"Yes! We get to be bedmates!"

"No, Caboose. You're staying in your own bed."

"I wouldn't mind being bedmates." Sister said, grinning. 

"Neither would I." Tucker said, sharing the same grin. "But then nobody'd get any sleep. Bow chicka wow wow."

"Ugh." Church groaned. "Okay, as leader, I think it's my responsibility to lay down some ground rules."

"Boo."

"Shut it. First off, everyone stays in their own beds."

"Boo!"

"Look, it's common decency." Church said, irritated. "Now, we don't have a lot of space going for us, so for the sake of modesty-"

"Oh you don't have to worry about that." Kaikaina said, waving him off. "I grew up in a traveling circus. Lots of people, little room. Honestly, I've got zero sense of privacy. If I'm in your personal space don't be afraid to toss me out of it, because I don't get that stuff at all."

"I was going to say you should get that corner of the room to yourself but..."

"Nah. It's cool bro." Kaikaina was suddenly in his personal space, arm wrapped around his shoulder. "We're partners now. Don't be afraid to stick close."

"Real close." Tucker added.

"Yes." Taking it as an invitation, Caboose grabbed Tucker around the waist, lifting him into a one-handed hug that took the boy off the ground, and reached over with his other arm and scooped up both Sister and Church. "This is going to be great! We're going to stick together like frogs in a pond."

"Peas in a pod." Church corrected. 

"I'd like oxygen now, please." Tucker whispered through pained gasps. Caboose responded by letting go, letting all three of his teammates drop to the ground.

* * *

 "Alright team." Sarge announced, cocking his weapon. "Welcome to the Reds Army."

"Glad to be here sir!"

"We should throw a welcoming party."

"I'd be down with a buffet."

"No parties. No buffets." Sarge stated. "Only discipline, and cold, hard, determination. Now then. Today marks the first of many at our four short years in Beacon, before we are sent out there." He points dramatically out the window, at the forests that expand in every direction. "To the real battleground. As the leader of this Team, it is my responsibility and honor to try and lead you in your training, so you have a chance of survival. I will not succeed, not for all of you." He looked them over. "Likely, any of you. I mean, come on, you're pathetic."

"Hey." Donut said, a little miffed. "You've barely seen us in action."

"I didn't mean you Donut, you're a fine soldier." Sarge assured. "I'm talking about these two lugs. Taking two hours to get the artifact in what should have been twenty minutes? Disgraceful!"

"Don't look at me! He's the one who refused to go faster until the very end!" Simmons said, defending himself. 

Grif shrugged. "Hey, Ozpin didn't put a time limit on it. And we succeeded, what more can you ask?"

"Perfection! Which will be asked, no, demanded! For as long as you are part of this army."

"It's more of a squad, really." Donut mumbled. 

"Yeah, and we're not affiliated with the military. I mean, Hunters can't even be drafted." Simmons explained.

"Bingo." Grif said, grinning. 

"Wait, is _that_ why you're becoming a Hunter?!" Simmons asked, shocked. 

"Heck yeah. If I pass at Beacon, I'm an official Hunter. No one can tell me to do _anything_. No taxes, no military draft, no hassle for the rest of my adult life."

"How the hell do you think you're going to pass at Beacon if you don't think you can succeed in the military?"

"How does one even 'succeed' in the military? Besides, you saw my semblance. I'm pretty much invincible."

"Oh, woohoo, you can go fast." Simmons muttered sarcastically. "How useful."

"It _is_ useful." Grif said, nodding in agreement.

"But you aren't!"

"That _is_ true." Grif said, simply continuing to nod happily.

"Shut it, all three of you."

 


End file.
